


fever in my eyes

by littlelionvanz



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Awkward Sex Dreams, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 17:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2780849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelionvanz/pseuds/littlelionvanz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What are the chances,” he said voice ragged and breathing uneasy, “That Cabeswater has a sense of humor.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	fever in my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from [The End of Silence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWWIB-0bxJo) by Porcelain Raft

Adam dreamed of hands. His hands? Someone’s hands. Hands that were strong and at first he wanted to be scared because hands that close in his proximity had a habit of leaving bruises. But these hands were soft and cautious. They touched his chest, which was bare, palm hot over his heart to soothe and relax. After a moment he no longer felt fear, but something else - something that made his pulse quicken all the same.

After a moment, like a cut screen in a movie, those hands were taking his own in theirs. He couldn’t quite make out a face, but he felt lips on the fleshy part of his palm. Lips were kissing his hands, keeping them open and with a jolt, Adam felt tongue. A trail was being made up one of his wrists. After another moment, he skipped to that same tongue in the same upward pattern moving to the side of his neck where his shoulder met collarbone.

Those warm hands were holding him now, cradling him? It was as if they were afloat in some open white space with nothing above or below. Just a cloudy nothingness except the sudden teeth on skin that made Adam almost growl. He felt utterly weightless, like a piece of driftwood in the ocean with nothing except strong arms to keep him _safe_. He felt wholly and completely safe. Suddenly he saw the face and connected the feeling.

It was Ronan. Kind-eyed and absolutely in awe of Adam. As if Adam was something to glorious behold. They both were naked but Adam felt no shame. He was speaking to him, but words he couldn’t quite make out. It was Latin, he wagered. He could only make out words like, “I know…” or “I see…” but the phrases were left incomplete.

Then Ronan was touching him. He could feel the sensations - they were prickling and hot he felt like he was being unwound from the inside out. Adam couldn’t let himself look at Dream-Ronan when he moved further and further down his body, holding him and touching him and mouthing him all over.

He was saying things Adam couldn’t understand and he felt himself thrusting - or being thrusted - into whatever skin-to-skin (or skin to mouth?) contact was happening below. He’d closed his eyes or looked away by then. When Adam eventually looked down, all he could see was the outline of Ronan’s back tattoo from above. Which seemed to stand apart the most, wherever they are.

Adam suddenly felt cold, like a frosty mist envelope him all over - all but the wet, hot heat below his waist that was sending sparks throughout his whole body. Up his spine and through his fingertips.

When he looked down the second time, Ronan looked up and smiled. Sweet and sincere and purely devilish. He said, “Knowable.”

And Adam woke up panting, covered in sweat and it cooling over his skin from the breeze coming from the window above him that had been left open. He sat up and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands. He could still feel Ronan’s lips on them. His entire body was buzzing from feeling. 

And that’s exactly when he realized Ronan sitting next to his bed, breathing hard, a hand braced over his face. His knees were perched up and he was leaning back on his other arm. It’s almost as if he and Ronan woke at the same time.

Almost as if… no. There was no way they had the same dream.

When Ronan looked up. Looked at Adam, he had to have been wondering something.

“What are the chances,” he said voice ragged and breathing uneasy, “That Cabeswater has a sense of humor.”

Adam noticed his eyes drift to his blanket which was a little more than obviously tented at his lower stomach  and he wanted to set himself on fire from the complete and utter soul-numbing shame. But all he could do was groan and roll over to face away from Ronan. He pulled the blanket over his head and willed Cabeswater to take him away, or to sink through the floorboards and descend straight through the molten center of Earth’s core.

What Adam didn’t expect Ronan to do, was laugh. A short breathy laugh. 

“Oh come on Parrish,” he said and Adam could practically feel Ronan’s eyes roll. “It’s not like you haven’t had a sex dream before.”

There was a very long, a horrifically embarrassingly long moment of the most awkward silence Adam Parrish had ever been apart of in maybe ever.

“Well now I feel _extra_ special,” Ronan said with a snort and Adam really couldn't tell if he was laughing off situation or at him, but it felt like the latter.

“Shut the fuck up, Ronan,” Adam grumbled, pulling the blanket tighter over his head. He hated himself. He felt exposed and unclean.

“Adam,” Ronan said in a softer, calmer voice. The one Adam found was reserved just for the moments where they were alone together. “Will you chill? I was there too, remember.”

Adam, suddenly feeling like a small child pouting. Only Ronan made him feel that way while also pissing him off at the same time.

He rolled over onto his back, pulling the blanket down just enough to see Ronan sitting cross-legged and looking at him.

“So what,” Adam said, “Cabeswater’s making us share dreams now?”

Ronan shrugged. “Guess so.”

“Sex dreams.”

Adam thought for a moment. The absurdity of it. Ronan and Adam. Yes, Adam was Cabeswater’s hands and eyes and Ronan was Cabeswater’s Greywaren. But it didn’t mean anything. Maybe they’d been in the forest too many times and the magic was starting to get to them. They were teenage boys after all. Magic and pent-up sexual frustration couldn’t have been a good combination. And in any case, these things happened. Though not to Adam much… and he rarely, if ever, associated sex with Ronan Lynch.

And besides, who would Ronan even have sex dreams about?

It wasn't that Adam was shy about the idea of sex. Of course he'd wanted to partake in it. Of course he'd thought about it. But the other participants were always girls. Maybe a nameless actress from a magazine at the factory, no one special to make Adam's thoughts turn slightly erotic when he was particularly bored or stressed or needed to go to sleep. Fantasizing about men however, hadn't been apart of it much. Thought about, sure. Sexually, never. And sexually fantasizing about Ronan Lynch? The idea of it seemed absolutely ridiculous. It had  _seemed_ absolutely ridiculous up until their trip to the Barns and then... well Adam wasn't sure what to call it anymore. He'd been feeling  _something_ and that  _something_ enough times to finally accept that the idea of thinking about Ronan Lynch wasn't entirely off the table.

Hell, it'd been a strange few weeks anyways.

“Felt real though,” Adam heard himself say because it was true. Ronan looked down to his lap and Adam felt stupid. “Sorry that Cabeswater made you… you know.”

It was another long moment before Ronan, head still down, said, “It wasn’t Cabeswater,”

“What?” Adam barely heard it.

“Jesus,” Adam did hear him grumble that. “I’m always in control of my dreams, Parrish.”

Adam felt his face self-ignite. “What are you saying Ronan.”

Ronan still wasn’t looking at him, but Adam heard clearly, “Don’t you fucking make me say it outloud.”

Adam knew Ronan had a crush on him. He knew he felt a certain… something for Ronan he couldn’t tack a name to. This was something else. He felt just as exposed as Ronan was now. Something in his chest was seizing and contracting. He didn’t expect Ronan to ever say it outloud just as he was never going to mention it. If it was just a crush the sooner or later it wasn’t going to mean anything. Unless it really did mean something and Adam was just as oblivious as he thought he was.

If Cabeswater put them in the same dream-setting and Ronan was in control of what he was doing, did that mean Adam was too? He didn’t push dream-Ronan away. He very much wanted what was happening too. He’d felt so much more alive in the dream that he’d felt awake in real life.

“Felt good,” Adam whispered, again because that was very true. Ronan pulled his head up a little to glance up at him. “Thanks.”

He rolled his eyes and kicked the bed with barely any force. “Shut up… whatever.”

And Adam smiled. Ronan smiled back. Sleeping didn’t really feel that necessary, then.

**Author's Note:**

> this was requested by an Anon, based after a dumb text post I made and this is super terrible and embarrassing I'm sorry


End file.
